Some time soon...
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Stereophonics - Dakota
Topic: Terminal
Monday morning was surprisingly cold. Or maybe unsurprisingly. It was meant to happen over the weekend but today was the day... Watching the Newcastle game yesterday with my Dad, there was snow there. But as we watched the game, the sun was shining out the window. So i thought maybe we would be lucky and it would pass. But alas. Its snowing out in my garden now. A layer cake of white snow. The xmas, we would love to have.
Ive been talking to Leanne. It seems since we broke up, we still want to be friends, which is great... but we dont talk as much as we'd like and see each other even less.

My weekend was a bit shit. I spenmt most of it either in bed, or just in the house. I think i went out once, Friday night to see the Aviator. Which, I might add, was equally shit. Should have seen Sideways. But hey, nevermind. Really came down with something crap on friday. I was meant to go out friday might with Kim and again on Saturday with Kim, Craig and Karen... But I couldn't make it. Luckly, the party was crap, by all accounts and They came round mine to watch a movie instead...

Apart from seeing Dan on Friday, I didnt see the lads this weekend at all. Shame. Would have been good. Might have a poker night some time soon.

So take a look at me now...
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Dakota - Stereophonics
Topic: Terminal
I've been quiet. Peaceful. Happy.
I talk to Simon and Danny. I talk to Kim, I talk to him. My Dad. There
for me when I need him.
If you could change something. One event or characteristic. some
idiosyncrasy or another. What would you change? Do you think we can
change these things that we don't like about ourselves? Are there and
regrets you might have that, given the opportunity, you would alter, for
the better, or worse maybe. maybe you're a glutton. What is to be said
about the choices that we make each day? Are they choices or are they
opportunities. Moments where we can decide which road, which person we
ultimately want to be.
I remember when I was younger. I went to an open day at my university,
and the student showing us the ropes. He told me that all art is, is
plagiarism. Other peoples ideas.. Just the same thing, but with your
name at the bottom of the canvas. Maybe life emulates art, maybe all we
do is live other people lives, just with our name at the bottom.
Eternally signing our names to other peoples mistakes. Never learning,
just spinning around. History repeating.
You know what though, you don't have to always be right. You are only
going to learn from your mistakes, by living them. If I choose not to
experience something bad, do you think I would commit the mistake again,
later, because I never learnt from the mistake in the first place.

Here are some lyrics, some words from a song, you may or may not have
heard yet. But you will.
Its Called Dakota, by the Stereophonics.

Thinking about thinking of you
Some of the time thinking it was due
Yeah thinking it was due.
Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
Never went far
Needed to go far

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don't know where we are going no
I don't know where we are going no

Wake up for coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we'll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don't know where we are going no
I don't know where we are going no

So take a look at me now

How much difference?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: the music is in my head
Topic: Terminal
I'm a bit worried. I've come to a point in my life, or rather just a point where I'm trying to be a better person. Its not that I think I'm not a good person or anything. I just want to transcend the person I have been up till now. But I find that the road I'm trying to travel is fraught with strange and rather surprising truths. I had no idea in some cases; in others I had an inkling. I've got to try now and be stronger. Move up the ladder and be honest with myself. Be smarter. Or at least try.
I was looking at Billy Corgans web site. It's quite good. Don't be fooled it only contains a blog which he fills in when he can. Its always interesting to read the words of someone you admire so much.
I'd like to quote Mr Corgan. ... "And so it was, and is." I'd like to think that it says that you should accept fate and understand your place in the world and do what you can with it. But it also says something of the indifference of the world and the duality of man. You notice that there is something wrong, but you do nothing to help it. You move on.
Maybe we could all learn something from it, and try to transcend what we were before.
G

Terminal
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: I miss you - Blink 182
Topic: Terminal
In most cases we see that one cannot just take what is in front of himself. We see that the choice is available yet the subject is less likely to act upon the due to the fact that they are skeptic.

we have learnt that the cubic ora which surrounds us is there to see if one chooses to believe without provocation or skepticism. just try to imagine a society without the cubic ora and the opportunities it presents is with. before that day, before the realization committee agreed to share the knowledge it gained from its founder, our lives were unfulfilled and we were desolate, walking through the streets of the cities around the world just existing. this existence was pre-cubic-utopia. the people of earth were killing themselves and each other. it was fast becoming the commercialized-civil-war. the media and movie industry had theorized for the previous years. the world became a bleak place, with out light or a solution that was working, despite many efforts. then that august day arrived. it became a year of change. religion, the main source of the war, changed and peoples views of each other shifted to a more whole, more cubic definition. our understanding of the fundamentals became a realization. eventually the cubic ora was discovered.

This one is for Kiran!!!!!
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: I dont know much....
Topic: Terminal
Kiran, I havent spoken to you in ages babe.... what you been up to?

I hope you havent forgoten about me, i know i havent....


Say Hi to Gurj...

G x x x

Has Fish really gone away?
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Terminal
Its strange, Si was walking down Wanstead when he came across a picture of Danny. Why was Danny modeling for Ladbrokes...mmmmmm. Have a look for yourself:

Even better than the real thing
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Even better than the real thing - U2
Topic: Terminal
What day is it, Its Sunday aint it... thought so cause it was getting crap again..... the constant reminder that work starts tomorrow. Great. mmmm.

So what have we all been up to.... me, I went to a wedding yesterday. Paul - or Skinner as we affectionatly call him, his sister got married yesterday. She looked great. We took some pictures there to. My phone was the only source i have so you have to excuse the lack of lighting. Go to the Moblog to see more.
Still not feeling to great after friday. But hey... what can you do.
Welcome to anouther sunday afternoon!

Gspaced | Boy
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Weezer - Keep Fishing
Topic: Terminal
Keeping it up. Thats me, keeping my head held high.
Got to these days.... Just go through the days.
Ive been a little busy, if you can call it that. I handed in my notice on Tuesday. Felt good to do it. I was releaved to have the weight off my back. Ive been veryunhappy at this one. I dont know if anyone has noticed, but its been hard. So I decided to move on, get up and leave. Like a tree.

So now Im on my way.

Terminal Curiousity
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Keane - We might as well
Topic: Terminal
I've been thinking about what really constitutes memory and what triggers memories to reserface and or disipate. When you walk around the streets, what is it that tells you where you are. What is it that tells you how to get back from there. When you meet people for the first time, what is it that you look at and how do you instantly access there importance in your life and or memory from then on. I get told alot that my memory is really bad. But I can go out and walk around and get back, find my way home and return to that place with out having to really think about that it is that im doing. I canmeet someone and remember certain aspects of them that i encountered when i first met them. Why is it that my memory works this way, Ill be at work and be asked a question about something that i was told a moment before, and i find that i cant answer it. But i can look at a picture and remember certain aspect that make up the picture, I cant recreate detailed aspects of it but im able to do more than i can with other data. Im curious as to why this affects me so much. Maybe im not meant to remember these things , maybe im meant for something more, something more specific. Imagine a day when memory can be madfe and more memory or accessable memory is available to be added to your system. you add a few more teraherts and terabytes to your body. You acces more data, you create more memories. I see it happening. It doesnt even become an issue, it just happens, like taking more food for lunch. Maybe.... its just a thought, like many, which cross my mind.